I come to you tonight, not with a sad note- though, undoubtedly, the emotion I have felt is sadness- but a happy note. Because ultimately, My Chemical Romance was a thing to be happy about. Weren’t they? They made us feel something when we felt nothing at all. They gave us something to stick around for. They brought us some of our closest friends. Comforted us when we felt like no one understood. Made us understand that we are something great. We are the future and we will not let anyone defeat us. They were such an important addition to our lives- and here’s the thing: they still are! The physical band is gone, but we still have the music, the videos, the words that meant so much to us when we couldn’t bring ourselves to carry on. It’s been a year, a hard year, and I finally understand. It was never a band. They always were an embodiment of an idea. The idea of carrying on and fighting our demons and never letting them take us alive.
So give me all your poison,
And give me all your pills,
And give me all your hopeless hearts,
And make me ill
They care- not cared, despite how hurtful some of the recent actions of the band have been- so much about us. They are here for us, the fans, the ones who have been through fucking hell and survived. And we may still be going through it, and they fucking understand what it’s like. And they would take it all upon themselves FOR US.
We are not alone. It has been a long year of disbelief, denial, and tears. And that may not be over. Especially the tears. But we are not afraid, that’s what they taught us. We are not afraid to walk this world without them.
And one final note. If you’re ever feeling super sad and abandoned, just listen. Just let the lyrics wash over you. Never let anyone or anything take that light behind your eyes. Your fucking strength. They believe in you. You should, too.
I am sad but feel nothing but gratitude towards that fucking band today. They taught me how to live on my own, not dependent upon anything to make me feel. I am a killjoy, and I am proud of it.